“What’s in it for me?”

I was having a conversation with a friend a few days ago, and this question came up. Boy were they furious. Well, I wouldn’t say furious, more so they had a strong opinion. People do things for the good of others, correct? Not all the time. I may not know where I’m going with this, and I may go in a circle, but I’d like to get my thoughts out. In my book, Bloodstone (Moonstone’s sequel), Alexzander witnesses something which he should not have. Then he and Lunette have a conversation about doing things for the benefit of others. Alex says that behind every kind act is a selfish motive. Now, with me, that is not true. At the end of Junior year it was my friend’s birthday. She was happy to finally be 17, and she asked me to wear a dress, just for her. I gave in, and at the same time a thought crossed my mind. So, in the early morning hours, I went to our local Raley’s and bought her a chocolate cake with her name on the front. She was overjoyed and I was happy to see her so thrilled. So if there was a selfish motive there, then I think I figured out what it was. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her birthday to be special, and I have a feeling that she won’t forget that day for a long time. I’m a people pleaser. I want to make others happy. But I have been told that sometimes, the people I want to please, want me to be happy. Me? Haley? Do I deserve to be happy? What did I do to deserve something so simple as happiness. Maybe I want people to be happy because inside me where evil lies, it can be controlled with good deeds. That’s why I am afraid to do anything out of the ordinary. What if something sparks the evil and I lose control? What if I….I’ll have to finish this in another blog.

Back to Selfishness. Have any of you done something to help someone else without another motive? Have you done something to gain something? What if something benefits two people, but not yourself? What if Emma loved Jake, but Jake was in love with Emma’s friend Jane? And Emma got Jake and Jane together, because she wanted them to be happy? Is Emma happy now? What else does she gain other than being happy, while her heart is secretly breaking?

I need thoughts from you guys.

[And if you’re reading this (you know who you are) I’m not mad and I don’t want you to be mad. Let’s talk about it.]

3 responses to “Selfish?”

  1. josh says :

    we want you to be happy because we love you lol. also about that “evil” it isnt what you think lol.
    i got something kinda like it…although mine is hunger so not same but close. if ya want we could talk about it.

  2. josh says :

    well if it’s there it’s there. if its not then you worrying over nothing. only one way to find out.

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